Tuesday, 2 December 2014

Meditation in the Shadow (mistress of the night) James WF Roberts (One from the vaults)

Meditation in the Shadow (mistress of the night)
James WF Roberts

1

I watch you in my mind,
in the moon light
I feel your breathing,
your heartbeat
I feel that longing
you try to hide
emptiness in your bed
your hands reaching out
nothing is found
the lingering scent of your kiss
on my lips, I taste
even now.

do you feel the wind
rustling in the trees outside
scratching at your window,
do you see my eyes,
in the shadows
your naked body,
beading in sweat
as you see my face again
on top

entering you, a final time
I kiss the nape of your neck,
your skin my only nourishment
your pleasure my only thought
a feast for starving eyes

a prayer for the condemned man
my lips move silently down your body
my tongue our salvation?
the promise of lust our only hope...
yet the mind is against reality
time, has ravaged the chances of glory
death overcame us, so quickly
how could I not see, the inevitable
writing on the wall?

2
Frozen lake thawed, melted
how can it be forced to freeze again,
so quickly?

I watch you in my mind,
I beg for you in my soul
lost all cognitive reasoning
cannot seem to find my way back
Drowning in the river
Of my own creations;
Rejection, hope, love,
Sex, death, nothing but a game…
that I can never afford to play.
physicality, emotional connection
trapped in the wilderness of the Aspergian Prism
clock chimes midnight
soon I must decide…

the hand of fate is reaching out…
the pen or the knife?
Do I face the morning?
Or float in perpetual night?
Why must I chose?
You have no choice…
Game set. Match.
Scores are irrelevant,
Your presence barely even required
Measured, balanced…
Judgment decided long ago…
Do you prolong your suffering?
Or do you make the world laugh?
What?
You heard me…
Do you prolong your suffering?
Or do you make the world laugh?
I—I, I don’t…

3
You try my patience make your choice!
It’s over now…let it go. Let her go.
Let your dreams fall.
Allow the shadows to enter…

I—I, I don’t…

Pick up the knife, dance it across the vein
Let the juices flow…why linger in this pain.
Fall into my hands, my beloved soul.
Fall into my dreams. Allow my servants
To tend to your every need…
But make your choice…
I sit here in the darkness…

Pen in one hand
Knife in the other,
Your face in my head.
On my bed, your body
Contorted, naked, longing
We touch and you fade…
Maybe it’s time I fade…
Do it…
Do it…
Take the blade, to your wrist
Don’t delay now…

My child…
Sleep child,
Sleep, close your eyes you are weary
Leave this little place, where your life is dreary…
Feel my lips on your neck and feel my kissing you from side to side
Lie in my arms and dream and dream and….
Feel me in your blood, feel me in your lips as I taste your soul,
As you kiss the sky, as the creatures of the night, stir in the shadows
I am there, as constant as the morning sunlight on the plain
In the evening, in the darkness, in the daylight, in the day of night
Close swarming, like a million writhing worms,
A demon nation riots in mortals brains…
In the whisper of the night, in the children of the fright
I call out too you, as the seas hit the rocks on the coast

4
My feelings, are nothing but a strange, degradation….
Too you, I do not exist, I am nothing but the shadows of
The moonlight on cold stone
Oh to you a soft whisper that comes with the
twinkles of the stars that so silently disappear
Bringing darkest on high

How I know you long, you long to feel the
Gentle caresses of the silent

Ghost that has come to steal from you…what is it that
My soul now desires...
Falling. Falling…falling…
In my hand the pen and the knife
Blank page and my wrist…

How do I choose?

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