Thursday, 5 June 2014

Turmoil Debbie Lee

Turmoil - First Published in Bullying Awareness by Barry Mowles and friends [Print & Online].
(Trigger warning: bullying, depression, suicide)

I’ve heard the ties that bind
seem like vanity.
Heartbroken, I’m consumed
by insanity.

My mind is a series
of sharp dimensions
and unbroken circles
of swirling tensions.

Decaying demons prey
upon me like vultures.
Contradiction abounds;
I’ve lost my taste for sculptures.

Patience is a virtue;
power in a commercial;
pain as clear as crystal;
subdued and artificial.

I face lunacy aware
that the purity of all words
are being forsaken to
human cattle, lost and absurd.

For me, perception relies
on a sense of duality.
Poetry next to science;
beauty begets brutality.

Although my heart is broken,
I pursue another distraction
to ease my mind of sorrow;
lust fuels my action and attraction.

I feel I’m gaining knowledge
that love is just a word for revenge;
some cosmic joke on humans
so we wish and hope for it to end.

I wish the world could change
into a tropical aquarium;
all black hearts would transform
and there’d be no more lack of variation.

But no, my rage has compounded,
I am sunburned yet frigidly cold,
gaping at unsmiling fish blinking
at my sense of suffocation and isolation.

[In Australia, please call 13 11 14 (Lifeline) for confidential telephone crisis support services available 24/7 from a landline, payphone or mobile. Anyone experiencing a personal crisis or thinking about suicide can speak with trained volunteers who are ready to listen, provide support and referrals. In Australia, there is also the Suicide Callback Service on 1300 659 467.]

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